Sunday, November 27, 2016

Autobiography & Genealogy

Have you ever wanted to know more about your great-grandmother or great-great-grandfather?  Or any of your relatives you have never met?  Will your descendants want to know more about you?  If so, it’s never too late to write your own auto-biography.

My interest went from a low burning flame to an insane fire when I started doing my family tree. I love a good mystery, untangling family lines, step-families, half-families, multiple marriages, etc.
My third great-grandfather...  His mother died in childbirth, he was raised in an orphanage and his brother came to get him when he was 10.  Much later, when his brother died, he took in his brother’s wife and 5 children.   None of this would have been known had it not been for a hand-written letter that was kept over the years.  I met a distant relative online that had the letter.  Amazing.

My second great-grandmother, divorced her first husband in 1894 and her first two children were adopted by her second husband when they were young adults.  Adoption papers mention, ‘their’ father had passed… and me sitting here decades later is wondering ‘How did she know that?’ ‘Did she keep in touch with her former’s husband’s family?’  So many questions and no answers. 

My great-grandmother died of Tuberculosis when my grandfather was two years old.  It was her second marriage, her first husband died of Typhoid Fever.  Her second husband, my grandfather’s father, had syphilis and eventually took his own life by illuminous gas poisoning.  Tracking down his marriage certificates, provided his parent’s names, but finding out anything about them had been next to impossible, especially since the 1890 Census was mostly destroyed by fire.

Back in 2000, Ted Pack wrote a ‘bioguide’ online. Thankfully, I printed it out and kept it for 16 years. What does that say about me? LOL  His post is my guide for what follows.  So, a big thank you to Ted.

When considering writing your own biography, think about ‘what would you have liked your great-great relative to have written about themselves?’  What would you want to know about them? What was life like?  Where did they work, a traditional job or not? What was their daily routing?   While you may not want to answer all of the following questions, pick a few and start.

Divide your life into 5 or 10 year increments, cover the ordinary events – who, what, when, and where – (child, teen, young adult, marriage, retirement) then answer specific questions – What were the most exciting things that happened, achievements, funniest events, sad moments, happy times?  Include embarrassing events, which now, looking back, are funny now.
Here’s some ideas.

Childhood and School Days

Where and when were you born? In a hospital or somewhere more exotic?

Where did you go to school (elementary, middle school, high school, college, trade school, graduate school)? What were your favorite subjects? Or favorite teacher? Why?

What would a typical school day, weekend have been like as a child, teen, young adult? Chores? Part-time job? First job? Summer job? Do you remember how much that job paid?  Where you saving your money for something specific?

Where did you live for each 5 or 10 year period? What was your house like? City living, country living? What did you like or dislike about it?

What was the most exciting thing that happened to you for each 5 or 10 year period? Or pick a handful to share.

Romance, Work, Play, and History

When did you start dating? How did you meet your spouse? What attracted you? Do you have a favorite/funny courtship story?

What was your wedding like? When and where was it held?

Military Service – did your life include military service? Which branch? When and where did you serve?  What went into your decision to join up, if you had a choice?  Funny antidotes during boot camp? Scariest moment?  

Occupation – what did you do? How did you choose your career?  Is it what you really wanted to do?  What did you like about it? Dislike about it?   What did it take to rent a place or buy your own place?

Hobbies – what did you do outside of work? What got you into it? Was it something you shared with friends, parents or grandparents or some other relative?  Include volunteer work, recreation, travel, etc.

What historical events have you lived through or witnessed in person?  Even if they were by radio, television, internet, social media.  How did it effect you, your family or your friends?

Religion, Children, more History

Religion – did you follow your family upbringing? Or go your own way? What do you like about it? Dislike? Any funny stories?

Children – where and when were they born? How did you pick their names? What were they like as babies, toddlers?

Large events, personal perspective – what are the 3-10 biggest changes in the world today from the world you knew as a child?

Traditions, Holidays and Hard Times

Holiday traditions – how did you celebrate each holiday? What did you eat? Cook it yourself? Decorations? Did you do anything special for breakfast, lunch, brunch, or dinner on the holidays or your birthday? Even New Year’s, Super Bowl, March Madness.

Did your family celebrate any holiday that were special to your religious or ethnic heritage?

Family recipes?

What was your favorite meal, apart from the holidays?


Interesting questions to answer in your bio.  “What have you done that no one would guess you’d done?” Something that would make future generations say “I never knew that!”

What’s the best vacation you have ever taken?

What was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you? What is the nicest thing you did for someone else, in the spirit of ‘pay it forward?’

Letter writing is a lost art, but thankfully, you can preserve your bio on your computer, the internet or even (save it as a ‘story’).

Monday, January 6, 2014

A lot is lost by not teaching sex education

I've been on Yahoo Answers for years now, mostly answering the same questions over and over again, as young girls know nothing about their body or how it works. It saddens me that not only parents, but society doesn't want teens to know even the basics.  Like what happens during puberty.  Many girls post how scared they are, how abnormal they feel, how worried and concerned or even disgusted about the way their body functions without knowing that they are normal.

Most girls tend to call everything 'down there' their vagina - they don't know the proper names for their own anatomy - vulva, labia majora, labia minora, clitoris.  No two girls look exactly alike.  Genitalia naturally darken when going through puberty.  Labia minora come in all different lengths (up to nearly 3 inches), sizes, textures and colors and they do NOT have to be identical.

All people have their own unique musky scent and yours will smell stronger to you than to others. Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, illness, medication, hormones, exercise and even diet can effect your scent. Your scent will also get stronger when you are sexually aroused or when you sweat (exercise).  The musky scent will be most noticeable in your arm pits and groin area.  The fastest way to improve/change your scent is to add 1 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar to an 8 ounce glass of water and drink 2-3 a day for a few days. Changing your diet can also help - drink more water, eat less red meat and more fruits and vegetables.  Period blood will also smell stronger. Blood has a metallic (metal-ish) scent.

It is normal to have a white and/or clear wet mucus discharge daily, every other day, weekly, on and off throughout the day, on and off throughout your cycle. In my day they just called it discharge, now they call it cervical mucus/leukorrhea. It will accumulate in and around your vagina, in the folds of the labia minora and even above the clitoris. It's part of the female reproductive cycle. The vagina is self-cleaning. This same discharge increases the closer you get to ovulation and when you are sexually aroused. It is what makes sex possible.  You can have this normal discharge for weeks, months or even years before getting your first period. It will also continue after you get your period, after puberty and for the rest of your life.

Some girls do produce more discharge than others. You can wear a pantyliner if it bothers you. Do NOT use a tampon for every day discharge. The amount and consistency of your discharge can vary throughout your cycle due to hormones, diet, water intake, exercise, illness and medication, even if you have never experienced it before.  Your normal white/clear discharge will turn yellow or dry yellow when exposed to air. If it is coming out yellow, then you probably have a bacterial infection and need to see a doctor.  It will also stain your underwear, as it has a bleach-like effect.

Different Types of Discharge:

White: Thick, white discharge is common at the beginning and end of your cycle. Normal white discharge is not accompanied by itching. If itching is present, thick white discharge can indicate a yeast infection.

Clear and stretchy: This is "fertile" mucous and means you are ovulating.

Clear and watery: This occurs at different times of your cycle and can be particularly heavy after exercising.

Yellow or Green: May indicate an infection, especially if thick or clumpy like cottage cheese or has a foul odor.

Spotting Blood/Brown Discharge: May happen right after periods, and is just "cleaning out" your vagina. Old blood looks brown. This may occur when you are ovulating/mid-cycle.  It can also happen right before a period.  Your first period can look like this also.

Different types of infections, which a girl can get at any time:

Signs of yeast infections:
White, cottage cheese-like discharge
Swelling and pain around the vulva
Intense itching
Buy Monistat 7 over-the-counter
Or take Difulcan

Signs of bacterial vaginosis:
A white, gray or yellowish vaginal discharge
A fishy odor that is strongest after sex or after washing with soap
Itching or burning
Slight redness and swelling of the vagina or vulva
See a doctor, as this will not go away on its own
Always wipe front to back
Don't wear thongs
Take lots of probiotics

Yeast is a fungus referred to as Candida. Yeast is commonly present on normal human skin and in areas of moisture, such as the mouth and vagina.

Vaginal yeast infections occur when new yeast is introduced into the vaginal area, or when there is an increase in the quantity of yeast already present in the vagina relative to the quantity of normal bacteria.

If you have diabetes mellitus or are pregnant or taking oral contraceptives (birth control pills) or antibiotics you may get an infection. The use of douches or perfumed vaginal hygiene sprays may also increase a woman's risk of developing a vaginal yeast infection. Improper ventilation - say wearing nylons too long, tight pants, etc, can contribute to getting an infection.

No home remedy ever worked for me - tea tree oil, oregano oil, garlic, yogurt etc.

For persistent yeast infections Consider going on a yeast-free diet, no sugar (as sugar feeds yeast), no alcohol - so no cakes, candy, sweets, etc.

*Take Lots of acidophilus/probiotics or eat Unsweetened (plain) Yogurt
*Avoid tight jeans and other tight trousers/pants
*Wear cotton underwear during the day, no thongs
*Wear no underwear to bed

Here's some things to try:

1. Add a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in a 6-8 ounce glass of water and drink it 2-3 times a day for a few days and see if you notice a difference.

2. Mix a tsp of Hydrogen Peroxide in a cup of water and pour over the area.

3. Fill a bathtub with just enough warm, not hot, water to create a sitz bath (enough water to cover your groin and just up to your belly). Add 2 cups of raw apple cider vinegar and sit in the bath with your knees folded toward your body (not stretched out flat). You can stay in this bath mixture for 15 minutes. Gently pat dry and make sure you are very dry before putting any clothes on. Wear only cotton underpants, preferably washed in natural unscented detergent.

Bladder infections are known as cystitis or inflammation of the bladder.  Bladder infections are not serious if treated right away. But they tend to come back in some women.  Most bladder infections are caused by various strains of E. coli, bacteria that normally live in the gut.  Women sometimes get bladder infections after sex. Vaginal intercourse makes it easier for bacteria to reach the bladder through the urethra. The risk for bladder infection -- dubbed "honeymoon cystitis" -- increases with frequent sex.  See a Doctor!

Symptoms of bladder infections may include:
  • A burning sensation when urinating; this is the most common sign of a bladder infection.
  • Frequent urge to urinate
  • Passing only small amounts of urine at a time despite the urge to urinate
  • Urine that is cloudy or bloody with a strong, foul odor
  • A fever or chills; this may mean the infection has gone into the kidneys.

The symptoms of urinary tract infections include:
  • Pain or burning during urination
  • Abdominal pain in the area over the bladder
  • A need to urinate immediately, as soon as any urine collects in the bladder
  • Need to urinate frequently
  • Passage of small amounts of urine at a time
  • Need to get up from sleep to urinate
  • Low back or flank pain
  • Cloudy urine
  • Bloody urine
  • Bad-smelling urine
  • In the elderly, lethargy and/or mental confusion; these may be signs of a more serious urinary tract infection.
Periods - periods typically last 3-7 days. You don't have to bleed all day, every day of your period. It will start and stop throughout the day and can even skip a day.  Period blood can be light red, red, dark red or even brown.  Old blood looks brown.  The longer it takes for the blood to flow out of your body, the greater the chance of it turning brown.  If you bleed for more than 10 days, see a doctor.  You may also pass clots.  Make sure you are hydrated. Drink lots of water.  Some girls experience mood swings, diarrhea and/or constipation and others experience throwing up.  These are all due to hormone changes.  Some girls experience mild cramps, others severe cramps.  Every girl is different.   There is nothing you can eat or drink to shorten your period or to make it start soon or delay it.  However, taking birth control pills can shorten your period and depending on when you start taking it, could help you delay or start sooner. Always following the instructions and listen to your doctor.  Period blood will also smell stronger. Blood has a metallic (metal-ish) scent.  DO NOT ever flush tampons, pantyliner or pad down the toilet.  Always wrap them in toilet paper and put them in the trash.  Wrapping them helps keep your pets (dogs, cats) from getting into them and making a mess.

If you must go swimming while on your period, always use a tampon or a menstrual cup.  Blood does not stop in water. If you tilt your pelvis in just the right way, you may have an embarrassing accident.  Water dilutes the blood to make it appear that there is no blood, but think about it, do an experiment....add a few drops of blood to the toilet bowl and notice that you can't see it when it is diluted.

Sexual Intercourse - If you aren't ready to be a parent, always use protection when having sex, even your first time.  You can get pregnant the first time you have sex.  If your partner does not use a condom, his semen will run out of you after having sex for a few days and it will carry his scent.  It will also mix with your daily discharge and seem different to you.

The first time can be painful when the hymen breaks (stretches, rips or tears) upon penetration. There can also be some blood from spotting to actual bleeding. Not all girls bleed and not all have pain. I never bled but there was a lot of pain. There doesn't have to be blood or pain, but due to the fact that most guys don't know what they are doing and girls 'give in' to having sex to please their partner instead of waiting until they are really ready and aroused, pain happens even if blood doesn't.

The hymen is the thin membrane that sometimes covers the opening to the vagina if you're a virgin. Even if you haven't had sex, the hymen can do a bit of a disappearing act due to an overzealous workout at the gym, horseback riding, tampons, and even passionate "heavy petting" with your boyfriend. (It's not an impenetrable barrier, anyway, as it has holes to allow menstrual blood to escape.)

For some, the first few times might make you feel sore, as the vagina has been an unused muscle or even hurt if you aren't properly lubricated, or if the guy is in a hurry, doesn't arouse you and your body isn't ready. The vagina is a muscular tube, so before sex it is basically unused, not stretched, and that stretching that happens during sex, can cause pain as well.

Relaxing, foreplay, (oral sex, touching, kissing, etc) being fully aroused or better yet, you having an orgasm FIRST or using a lubricant like KY-Jelly or Astro-Glide can help.  If your partner doesn't use a condom or if you produce a lot of natural lube (discharge), have a towel handy (not your best towel) to help with clean up as semen stains.

If you are on birth control pills, learn how your particular pill works.  If you take them daily like you are supposed to, you should never need to take Plan B.

The average depth of a vagina is only 3-6 inches with most feeling in the first few inches. So if he goes too deep, depending on his length, he will bump your cervix and it can cause pain, bruising and even bleeding. If he doesn't use a condom, his semen will run out of you for a few days after having sex and it will carry his scent.  Your increased discharge will also come out after sex.

Most females do not have an orgasm through sexual intercourse. It happens with direct manual/toy/oral stimulation to her clitoris.

Signs of orgasm in females: increase in blood pressure and pulse rate; breathing quickens; increase in vaginal lubrication; clitoris becomes erect and exposed; breasts become enlarged, nipples erect; skin flushes, particularly the face and chest; pelvic muscle spasms, causing vaginal contractions and orgasmic sensations. Could be throbbing, tingling, pulsating waves of pleasure. Some girls can have a female ejaculation (gushing, squirting), most girls do not. 

Good food and Meditation

If you are looking for something new online check out Nancy Griffin's Consciousness & Meditation YouTube Videos.....Good food and connection!

Saturday, November 3, 2012

What's on You Mind

Ready for a change.....let me take you there:

  •  Heal painful memories/images, trauma, the inner critic, negative thoughts, grief, fears, phobias, conflicts
  • Resolve blocks that prevent you from doing what you want in life or getting where you want to be in life, business and relationships
  •  Help you get what you want and be who you want to be

In July 2001, I was involved in an accident with my father and two sons.  For 7 years I suffered with the painful memories, mental images, fear and guilt.  I tried talking about it and a few other things I had read about, but nothing seemed to ease my feelings.  I saw Carrie one time in 2008.  It was amazing.  She walked me through the process and I must say I instantly felt a peace come over me regarding the situation and my mental and emotional discomfort.  For the last 4 years, I rarely think about the issue unless asked and it is FAR less painful and I can let it go whereas before it would stay with me and keep me up at night.  I have gained peace, an ability to let it go and to know it is in the past never to harm me again.

Shani S.
Oct 18, 2012

If you would like to resolve something now, contact me. :)

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Things to Resolve

Ready for a change.....let me take you there:

What do you believe about yourself that limits you in some way?

Think of an upsetting feeling associated with being unable to have what you want.

Notice a current upsetting feeling in your body and let this feeling get so strong that it becomes your guide in finding an upsetting experience in your past.

Remember an upsetting experience from which emerged a life-long belief, decision or vow.

What do you want to stop doing that you can't stop doing?

Think of an upsetting image (visual).

Think of an upsetting sentence (hearing).

What two parts of you are in conflict? What does each part want?

Think of someone with whom you feel "enmeshed, attached, or overly involved."  

If you would like to RESOLVE any of these now, contact me. :)

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Let Me Take You There

I've been updating my resume and LinkedIn profile while job hunting.  I sent out emails to people I've worked with as a Coach* for testimonials.  Being self-employed is a little odd to me, but I do love helping people and know I am a good coach.

Let me help you:

  •  Heal painful memories/images, trauma, the inner critic, negative thoughts, grief, fears, phobias, conflicts
  • Resolve blocks that prevent you from doing what you want in life or getting where you want to be in life, business and relationships
  •  Get what you want and be who you want to be
Isela A. says: For 5 months at my new job, I was unable to present my own reports in meetings due to fear.  After a 2-hour session with Carrie I have presented my findings with every student I work with.  I’ve gained more respect from my colleagues as well.  I feel much more confident in my ability as a school psychologist.

Feb 14, 2009

*Destination Method Coach through the Telos Healing Center